It will be an interesting day tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. Not much else to say. I hate that I feel this way.
When you are invited into someone's life, past their walls of protection, you are then required to be both the good guy and the bad guy, the nice guy and the meanie, the friend and the foe. But that's the risk you take when wanting to be invited and investing time behind those walls.
When you tell someone to, "Handle your responsibilities and stand by your convictions." you must do the same. Even when it sucks, royally. Even when this action makes it look like you can't be trusted.
I hate this. But I would rather be hated for doing what is right than be loved for doing otherwise.
And I am well aware than my actions were not only done out of love, but also out of a willingness to remain faithful to promises made.
It doesn't make it suck any less.
When you choose how much to love someone, you have to choose how much you're willing to be hurt by that person. And that is painstakingly true.
So, I breathe and pray and trust God that He is bigger and wiser and better and more apt to handle things than me. And He is all of these things and so much more.
I am exhausted, I am gun-shy, I am anxious and I am prayerful.
I am also now going to bed, because tomorrow is coming and it will be trying.
So goodnight, good morning or good afternoon to you, depending on when this blog finds you reading it.
P.S. I am choosing my last thought and prayer of the night to be of and for Alexander. He is a blind, disabled, mentally-delayed and beautiful 10-year-old Dominican child with whom I was blessed to come to know last month.
Dominican Republic
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